The difference of One

The difference in one year can be drastic.  To the mother of a new born, the difference of one year is a more regular sleep pattern.  To a fifth grade student, the difference of a year is leaving to comforts of the only school they have known to a school that makes them change classes.  During those years it seems time takes forever.  That one year seems like such a long time away. 

My difference of a year right now is the difference of a person that was a huge influence in my life being here or now being gone.  That year has seemed to pass so quickly.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that she is in a better place.  I would have never wanted her to stay if that meant she had to stay in pain that she was living with.

Here’s the thing- so many people said it would get easier.  I thought I didn’t want it to get easier because that would mean that some how I had forgotten or not loved her as much anymore.  This year has taught me that isn’t true.   The love that she taught me is carried through my still being here.  It takes more than her not being here to break the bond that has been created.

If anything I want to do more the way she taught me.  I want more things made from scratch.  I want home made quilts.  More than anything, I want to be able to know at the end of my life that I will be surrounded by those that love me because I loved them to thoroughly.  I want to be able to laugh, dance, and have inside jokes with my kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. 

At the end of the day, I want to have the bond with others that she had with me.

My momma :)

It’s my mom’s birthday.  Can’t let the sun go down without taking a moment to say how awesome she is.

When I was younger and played softball – she was the mom that showed up no matter what.  I wanted to do travel ball – so we traveled every weekend.  She never once said do you realize how much this costs.  She never made me feel like I was a burden with how many different things I wanted to do.  That taught me more about love and dedication than any story ever could.

When I turned down a road that no one foresaw.  She never made me feel inferior.  She made sure that I was taking responsibility for my choices.  But she also never turned her back on me.  That taught me about what unconditionally really means.

When I need a shoulder, counselor, or sounding board; I know that I can count on her no matter what.  Even when she is hurting or struggling, she will always make sure no one else is hurting too.  She shows up for people and leads by example of what love really is.

I could spend forever explaining all the things that she taught me.  Even more so, I could spend forever just trying to understand the lessons that where there but never spoken.

I love my momma and I am so thankful that she is my momma and even more so that she is my kids Granny.  I know she may not be perfect but she is the perfect mom for me.

Happy birthday momma!  I love you more than most.

Top 5

Things NOT to say when his team is losing the Super Bowl.

1.  “It’s just a game.” While completely accurate, it is also completely inaccurate – it is the game not a game.  It’s the last game of the season so they know that there will be no football for many months and that mere thought has them very upset before the game ever started.

2. “The party was fun tho right.”  While you may view the party as by-product of the game, it is actually the other way around.  We would have a party to have a party – shoot I have had a party to get ready to have a party :)  They are only having the party because of the game…  they need the nourishment from all the food to be able to scream at the TV.

3. If he says he is done watching the game, this is not the time to say “but I want to watch the commercials.”  We all know that more people are watching the commercials not the game, but especially if his team is getting their butt kicked – it just isn’t the best time to bring it up.  Just do what everyone else does and go to YouTube.

4. If it happens to get so bad that the channel is a actually changed.  Do not, I repeat – do not get invested in that show.  At least once – but probably more than once the channel will get changed again.  The frustration of not watching what he wants to be watching will be taken out on the remote.

5. As a last ditch effort to save the night- go ahead and let him know that you preordered the next WWE pay-per-view.  :)  That one is for u – Gary!!

Disclaimer – my husband is a sports fanatic, and while he does scream at the TV, he really isn’t as bad as this post sounds. We had fun watching the parts of the game we did.  Lol :)

The Completion

This is not the pre-Super Bowl post about how awesome I think the Denver Broncos are.  I mean I do, and Peyton is gonna bring it – but that isn’t what this about.

This is about that moment when you have completed something and had the time to let it set in.  Just the getting it done is pretty awesome.  The standing back and admiring it is where the real joy is.

I think this is one of the reasons I love to craft or paint or create a database.  There is that moment afterward where I can appreciate the work and the completion.

I thought this completion really wasn’t going to be a big deal.  It was a step not a completion in my eyes.  But sometimes taking that step is all that you can do.
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Now I hope I am able to continue and take the next step.  Right now at this moment, I am going to relish in this completion.

Two years

Wow.  It has almost been two years since my last blog post.  An unbelievable two years.  Revamping the ole blog and going to start writing again. 

I will reflect on the past, but more importantly live in the present.

Here’s to the new old blog and my randomness.

New Directions

Sorry for the Glee reference (not really) for the title and double sorry for the 2 months of solitude. Have a rather hard time figuring out exactly what direction this blog needs to be going and specifically if I really should be using this as an outlet.

Still trying to figure it out – so we’ll just see how it goes.  In the very near future, I am definitely going to revamp the blog.

Purpose Driven Blog

Up til this point, my blog has just been a place for me to organize thoughts, vent, and/or enjoy linking up with other blogging mamas out there.  Over the next couple of weeks, I am giving serious thoughts to the ongoing purpose of my blog.  In 2012, there will be more purposeful blogging going on from me.

Know time for me to focus on my niche.